Three Point O

The Earth’s orbit around the sun is 940 million kilometers. I have done this 30 times. What has happened in this rotation cycle? Well a lot of growing up and watching things change vastly this year.

“I’m sorry Tony…but he’s my friend…”- Steve Rogers

2016 will probably go down as the craziest year of all time, not just from the election but everything happening in the world around us as we continue seeing everything just unfold. I actually lost some friends this year from the election because they didn’t like “my liberal lies.” Which I find to be weird. I don’t think in all my years watching politics I have seen anything like this happen, its always been to a conclusion where someone can agree to disagreement, or you know facts actually worked but not this year. This year led with a major divide in my friends and groups with seeing how fake news and false facts ran rampant and people arguing like never before. To me personally…it sounded like Xbox Live came out into the real world.

“We change we have to. Or we spend the rest of our lives fighting the same battles.”- Captain James T. Kirk

Another thing, I did start a new job at a solutions company that operates with building enterprise solutions for those companies that need help. Its differently been a whole new way of thinking. Instead of being told  “do this.”, it’s more of “solve this.” The only thing is that the “solve this.” is a web of complex problems that have many ways to get to solutions but which solution is the most efficient way. I according to some, am still retraining my brain to not think as a marketing developer, but as a solutions developer. It has been a journey and its one that I definitely enjoy being on.

“Love is not only a feeling. You show love.”- Father Quintana

Another great journey I have been on is that I am still with my girlfriend, yes over a year. Its one of those relationships that keeps progressing forward, we work hard pushing each other forward, working on our vices, improving ourselves for the better and it has been a great journey being with her. I look forward to where we are going to together. Her and I actually do work in tandem on certain things of the web together. I build websites and she can see analytics and how to improve things and also uses salesforce. She has been a great help in the analytics, and doing editing to my writing because lets face it, I am a developer and not a writer.

A few other things that I have learned over the past year, is that its not about having many friends just the select few. And also I find myself really not caring about peoples’ opinions anymore. If people say things about me, I am like meh. I have also become a slave to the truth, it comes with being a developer. You have to answer truthfully, you can’t sugar coat it or make promises if you know you can’t keep it. Another thing that also comes to mind is that you are on no one’s timeline but your own. I often get asked when am I going to get married and have kids…and the truth of the matter is, maybe in 5 years or something. I look into the mirror and examine myself as a individual and know that I am not mentally ready for a child. Maybe a dog…but not a child…One step at a time my friends, girlfriend…to fiancee to wife. Not girlfriend…to baby mama…to wife. Don’t like jumping the gun.

“Thats how it starts…the fever…the rage…the feeling of powerlessness. That turn good men cruel.”- Alfred Pennyworth

One of the things that I have improved on this year is actually sleeping, for a long time I was suffering from insomnia and depression. I find at times it does affect my memory, or having a constant sense of deja vu or a slight social phobia that has happened in the past. Being even more nervous around groups of people or going into a daze doesn’t happen as much as it use to. But its still something I need to work on, but I guess having to be on painkillers for a long time cause of my surgery will have that affect on someone. That and anti depressants and not sleeping for a year. Its a good thing having people in your life that can lead you from the unreal to the real, and from the darkness to the light. Its ok to not be ok, its always best to find someone you can talk to and seek help. I believe that the stigma with mental illness is starting to be realized and more and more people are seeking help because people are seeing its not something you can just “get over.”

IN CLOSING

I still question where the road is taken me, that is something I do not know or want to know because I believe every man makes his own choices, and in the end they are those choices. There are no do overs. I try not to make too many far off plans or have a “schedule” in life because I know when we make plans, life finds a way to throw a curveball or in some cases an uppercut to the jaw. I just hope that with the knowledge I have gained I continue moving forward with all the friends, colleagues and family that I have made this year.

“These violent delights have violent ends.”

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